Loved

Kobi,

I've grown scared of being out at night, getting out of my car without people around, sitting in my car for any length of time and being in bigger towns. Much like after Dad committed suicide and I became terrified that every sad person would kill themselves. I began worrying about ending arguments with loved ones or seeing them heading down a dark road. A little over a year before your death, you were in a dark place, you were depressed.

I would tell you, "Don't do anything stupid, I need you ya know." You would respond with, "I won't, I know I'm loved."

I'm so glad you knew you were loved. I'm so glad that even when it would have been easier to check out of your own life, you stayed knowing you were important to your loved ones,  you stayed because you were loved, because I think you always knew, losing you would destroy me. You fought for your life, you ran to stay alive. I know you did this for Mom, your nieces and I know you did it for me.

I'm still running, Kobi. I'm running from who did this too. They are trying to take me with you, even if they don't know it yet. I'm running for Mom, my girls, Casey, and most of all, I'm running for you. I don't have to physically see you, to know you still love me. I know, Bub, I know. So I'm going to keep running, because I know I'm loved.

I love you, always have and I always will.

Sis