Remembering You

Bubby,

Right now the kids are sitting on the couch watching tv, eating snacks and for the most part, behaving. It's raining outside and I just made a cup of tea.

I'm missing you something awful today, but really, that's every day.

I'm all out of words because I think I've used them all to describe how much I miss you, and how much I love you. And even the words I have used, do not even scratch the surface.

I often feel Mom guilt because I know that my grief gets in the way of my parenting. I know that I'm not the Mom I once was. The Mom you loved and were so proud of.

But today, in this very moment, my children are fine. And I am not. So I'm going to take my tea, and sit in my sunroom, listen to the rain hit the roof and give myself some time to miss you. Guilt free.

I can't wait to imagine your face, your laugh and what your hugs felt like. I can't wait to relive all of our beautiful memories together. I promise I will do my best to laugh through the tears.  Meet me there...

Love and missing you as always,

Sis