Kobi,
Memories of you and I, come and go often. They don't just come gently, they hit me hard and fast. They run me over and leave me drained and empty feeling.
Today I thought back to the day that you called me because Devon was hospitalized. You told me you'd be fine, as you were crying. But I looked back at Casey, and I told him I had to go. It was 10 pm, but I had to go get you. You couldn't be alone. You needed me. I drove to you, quickly. I waited in the waiting room of the hospital while you talked with him, and the moment you walked out, I rushed to you and wrapped my arms around you. I said, "You're coming home with me." You said through tears, "Ok." I could tell you were anxious. You were shaking in the car. You seemed to be holding it together, until you started crying. I reached over and grabbed your hand. I held your hand until you stopped shaking. I wish I could just hold your hand and make all of this okay again.
Then I was spraying Tide scented Febreeze , and it reminded me of the last time I saw your apartment with you in it. I had helped you move the past two days, and the morning of the last day I helped you, I went to Walmart to pick you up some groceries and picked up some stuff to help you get the pet scent out of some of the items in your apartment. You wanted a fresh start, and I wanted to give you the best one that I could. Before we had everything all settled, you had to rush off to work. I stayed behind at your apartment and unpacked some things, set your coffee pot up and cleaned your couches. I wanted things to look better than you left them. Your apartment smelled like Tide, and I didn't even notice that I bought the same Febreeze at the store the other day. I fought back tears as I sprayed it in the living room, but then I kept spraying it in every room. Because even though it hurts, I love thinking of you.
The night that you died, I knew something was incredibly wrong. I didn't know what, but I paced my house after awaking from sleep, so completely unsettled. And ever since I found out, I have felt hallowed out. It hasn't a changed a bit. I miss you so incredibly bad. Everything about you.
I love you so much.
Sis
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Monday, January 22, 2018
To The Person Who Killed You
Kobi,
This is to the person who killed you:
You probably think that my brother is just another name on your list, another collection to add to the bodies you've dropped. In fact, you may not even think of him as a person at all, but more of a way you just try to make money. But I also bet, you had no idea that the person you left for dead, would end up on the news, repeatedly. That you would be a wanted, hunted suspect. You had no idea that Kobi was so important to us, that we would do everything we could to make his story go nation wide, and we did. It didn't turn out quite like you planned did it?
Those hands of his held the hands of his nieces to help keep them safe. They turned the pages of books they would bring him repeatedly and he would never turn down. They played peek-a-boo, and initiated tickled fights more times than I can count. They held the hand of his little sister while we buried our father.
The arms you put several bullets into held his baby nieces countless times, while he sat studying their faces. They hugged his Mom, and the rest of his family.
His mouth held a smile that could light up a room. It formed words that could comfort me through the worst of times. It always let me know that everything would be alright. It talked with me for hours on the phone, in person, and to talk to his nieces who adored him.
The legs you wounded, they carried him around the track to perform in a sport he loved. They allowed him to crawl through tunnels, skate and dance with his nieces at their birthday parties.
You didn't just leave a body out there. You left a person. A person who was loved so immensely that the hole you left in our lives can never be filled. You've broken the heart of his mother, sister, brother-in-law, nieces and everyone else who truly loved him. You can not take back the damage that you have caused, and I'll never be able to heal it. If they ever find you, I can assure you of one thing, your life will forever be destroyed. You will never sleep soundly. You will be haunted. Your dreams will be so awful that you aren't even safe there. You will live in a hell much like the one you have sentenced me to. I'll be at every hearing, every chance you might have to get free.
You killed my brother, my best friend and you took away my girls' chance of having such an amazing, loving and caring uncle in their lives. You forever changed their future, not just their now. If you ever had a hope of me being the type of person who writes some big long speech about how I forgive you for the awful thing you did, you were mistaken. I don't forgive you. I will never, ever, forgive you. I wish you nothing but misery, and frankly, I don't care if I'm a lesser person for it. I would much prefer you were tortured, and set on fire, and you will have earned and deserved, every single moment.
From the incredibly angry sister of Kobi Walden
Kala
This is to the person who killed you:
You probably think that my brother is just another name on your list, another collection to add to the bodies you've dropped. In fact, you may not even think of him as a person at all, but more of a way you just try to make money. But I also bet, you had no idea that the person you left for dead, would end up on the news, repeatedly. That you would be a wanted, hunted suspect. You had no idea that Kobi was so important to us, that we would do everything we could to make his story go nation wide, and we did. It didn't turn out quite like you planned did it?
Those hands of his held the hands of his nieces to help keep them safe. They turned the pages of books they would bring him repeatedly and he would never turn down. They played peek-a-boo, and initiated tickled fights more times than I can count. They held the hand of his little sister while we buried our father.
The arms you put several bullets into held his baby nieces countless times, while he sat studying their faces. They hugged his Mom, and the rest of his family.
His mouth held a smile that could light up a room. It formed words that could comfort me through the worst of times. It always let me know that everything would be alright. It talked with me for hours on the phone, in person, and to talk to his nieces who adored him.
The legs you wounded, they carried him around the track to perform in a sport he loved. They allowed him to crawl through tunnels, skate and dance with his nieces at their birthday parties.
You didn't just leave a body out there. You left a person. A person who was loved so immensely that the hole you left in our lives can never be filled. You've broken the heart of his mother, sister, brother-in-law, nieces and everyone else who truly loved him. You can not take back the damage that you have caused, and I'll never be able to heal it. If they ever find you, I can assure you of one thing, your life will forever be destroyed. You will never sleep soundly. You will be haunted. Your dreams will be so awful that you aren't even safe there. You will live in a hell much like the one you have sentenced me to. I'll be at every hearing, every chance you might have to get free.
You killed my brother, my best friend and you took away my girls' chance of having such an amazing, loving and caring uncle in their lives. You forever changed their future, not just their now. If you ever had a hope of me being the type of person who writes some big long speech about how I forgive you for the awful thing you did, you were mistaken. I don't forgive you. I will never, ever, forgive you. I wish you nothing but misery, and frankly, I don't care if I'm a lesser person for it. I would much prefer you were tortured, and set on fire, and you will have earned and deserved, every single moment.
From the incredibly angry sister of Kobi Walden
Kala
Friday, January 5, 2018
Drowning in the Waves
Kobi,
I am having a really hard time. The past couple weeks have really been emotional. We lost a lady we both loved and admired so very much, then on the 23rd it was her's and Dad's birthday on the same day we celebrated her life, we had your first Christmas Eve and Christmas away from us following that, on the 27th I cried as I remembered losing Dad 13 years ago, 2 days later I did an interview about your case, and then I tried to bring in the new year without completely losing my mind.
The day after Christmas, all of our decorations were put up by 6 pm and out in the garage. I couldn't handle looking at them anymore. I cried as I pulled them all down, thinking of past Christmas's. Then I kicked the side of the box a few times because I was so angry that you weren't able to be here this year. Then on New Years Eve, after the ball dropped and I said good night to my children. I sat on my bathroom floor, and I sobbed until I puked.
Today, today I'm haunted. I'm traumatized by what they/he did to you. I have been replaying it repeatedly in my head. And I can do that because I have your autopsy report memorized, and it isn't because I read it repeatedly. It's because it was so incredibly traumatizing to read, that I know and remember every injury you had. I know where the bullets entered, where they exited(if they did) and I know everything they hit on the way. I remember exactly how you were laying on the autopsy table. I remember everything. I wish I could forget. But that could be worse. Not to know what happened to you. I just wish we could find the only other person in the world who can fill in the blanks for me.
I hate this. I hate all of this. But I love you, so very, very much.
Sis
I am having a really hard time. The past couple weeks have really been emotional. We lost a lady we both loved and admired so very much, then on the 23rd it was her's and Dad's birthday on the same day we celebrated her life, we had your first Christmas Eve and Christmas away from us following that, on the 27th I cried as I remembered losing Dad 13 years ago, 2 days later I did an interview about your case, and then I tried to bring in the new year without completely losing my mind.
The day after Christmas, all of our decorations were put up by 6 pm and out in the garage. I couldn't handle looking at them anymore. I cried as I pulled them all down, thinking of past Christmas's. Then I kicked the side of the box a few times because I was so angry that you weren't able to be here this year. Then on New Years Eve, after the ball dropped and I said good night to my children. I sat on my bathroom floor, and I sobbed until I puked.
Today, today I'm haunted. I'm traumatized by what they/he did to you. I have been replaying it repeatedly in my head. And I can do that because I have your autopsy report memorized, and it isn't because I read it repeatedly. It's because it was so incredibly traumatizing to read, that I know and remember every injury you had. I know where the bullets entered, where they exited(if they did) and I know everything they hit on the way. I remember exactly how you were laying on the autopsy table. I remember everything. I wish I could forget. But that could be worse. Not to know what happened to you. I just wish we could find the only other person in the world who can fill in the blanks for me.
I hate this. I hate all of this. But I love you, so very, very much.
Sis
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