Bring You Home

Kobi,

I've been to Indianapolis a lot. Mostly to see you. I've driven those roads with hope, excitement and joy. I've also driven on those roads at 80+ miles per hour because you called me and you told me your heart was broken. You were broken. I told Casey I had to go and I left. I drove as fast as I could to get to you. Tears were streaming down my face as I heard the shaking and the sorrow in your voice. I knew I had to be with you. I had to get you and bring you home. And I did.

I've driven there excited as ever to take our girls to the zoo. I say our girls, because they were yours too. They will always be yours too. We would spend the weekend taking them to the zoo and having fun as a family. It was always filled with fun, laughter and so many smiles.

I've also driven there, correction, rode there, to see you in a different state. To see your body. To get your clothes. To empty out the place you slept. I say slept, because you knew when it came down to it, we were your home. Your home was with our girls and with Casey and I. It always will be. I rode there with no hope, no happiness, no faith that everything would be okay. I rode there several times during the worst week of my life, knowing that you were gone, and my world would never be the same again. I came home, without you. Every time. I just wanted to bring you home.

So you can imagine, that driving on those same roads, to see the people you loved so much skate, was incredibly hard. Walking in there wearing a shirt that screams that you were murdered, with a weight in my stomach. Oh I imagined you rounding the track during warm up and waving at your girls with excitement and pride. I saw you hugging them at the end and showing them off to everyone. That's who you were. You were a proud uncle on skates. Last night however, I was a proud sister. I am proud of your team. I am proud of the friends and the company you kept. I am proud of the life you lived. I am proud of who you were. I've always been proud of you. I will always be infinitely proud of you.

Last night I wanted to leave Indianapolis and bring you home. I just want to bring you home.

I miss you and I love you even more.

Sis